25 February 2012

This Strange Plan is Random at Best

As many of you know, just over a year and a half ago Dean surprised me with to baby rats for my birthday.  Since moving to Portland, all I wanted was a critter of some sort to look after and keep me company when I was home alone.  Little Mulder and Scully were his answer and cure to my affliction.  And it worked.  I grew to love the little buggers, no matter how big of assholes they turned out to be.

They grew into unique individuals with more personality in a rodent than I had ever seen.  At the crinkle of a bag both would jump and cling to the bars of their cage in hopes of getting a treat.  When we would walk in the door, they would eagerly emerge from their house and greet us, happy to have us home.

While I was on vacation in January, Jrod was over and discovered a lump on Mulder's chest.  It was small, nothing to raise too much suspicion as tumors in rats are extremely common.  When I returned home, Dean pointed it out to me and at almost the same time I realized that something wasn't quite right with Scully.

She was having a hard time walking, barely able to keep her balance while eating her food.  Dean looked online at what it could possibly be and all signs pointed to an ear infection.  Dean took them to the vet and they said that there wasn't really anything to worry about with Mulder's tumor other than keeping an eye on its size and making sure that his quality of life wasn't compromised because of it.  Scully turned out to have an inner ear infection and they prescribed antibiotics to give her until she got better.

Within the last week and a half, Mulder's tumor has almost tripled in size.  It's nearly to the point that he can't put one of his feet on the ground.  Scully is showing absolutely no signs of improvement, and when I was trying to give her her medicine last night, she fell from one of the levels in her cage.

Dean and I finally had the painful discussion of the inevitable, the humane thing to do.  Likely within the next week the agents will be put to sleep.  I've been on the verge of tears every five minutes since I got out of bed.  I fell asleep at eight last night just to stop myself from crying and I think staying in bed until eight this morning was a similar remedy.

I was thinking about it though, and I don't think that both of them getting life altering and threatening afflictions at the same time is by chance.  If one or the other were to go and leave the other behind, I don't think they'd last.  I think that the others time would run out shortly thereafter.  They were meant to be together, in life and in death.  Looking at partnerships like what we saw in Mulder and Scully really brings to realization that there's a plan, there's fate in line for everyone.  Whether or not we see that is another story entirely.

It's also funny to me that as humans, as perceptively smart as we are pegged to be, still do this to ourselves.  I knew that the life of a rat was three years tops at best.  We all know that upon getting a pet, that's something that's going to happen within our lifetime--whether we like it or not.  But at the same time, it's better to have the love and companionship of an animal than to lose out on that altogether just because of a fear of death.  If we lead our lives with that fear of loss then it bodes for an entirely dull existence.

So, I'm still sad.  I will be for a while.  Mulder and Scully are two entirely unique little rats and it's incredibly painful to have to let go of them.  All of their little quirks and antics will be missed with the heaviest of hearts and if you've ever had to let go of a pet, you know exactly where I'm coming from.

2 comments:

laurenjeanallece said...

Love at you lady. Lots of love.

dean omite said...

absolutely beautiful. <3

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