11 September 2012

Band-Aids

You may call me a dick.  I call it self-preservation.  I only had a week left at my job, but that week held no metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel.  In two weeks, I start school.  I needed to give myself this time, this period of decompression.  I all but walked out last night.  It took everything in me to keep from doing it, likely it was the fact that I am fond of everyone that I was working with last night.  So, I waited.  I waited until we clocked out at the evening's end, and I wrote out a notice that I would not be finishing out my last week on the job.  I turned in those name badges, that staff card and now--we're through.

It took one swift motion like this, just a clean break.  This motion, this break; I feel just...better.  Better about myself, better about my situation, just better about life in general.  I kept thinking to myself that it was going to be some bittersweet thing, after five long years finally calling it quits.  It wasn't though.  It was just...sweet.  Nothing bitter about my end resonated in my conscience.  

It's a new kind of freedom knowing that the only people I'm going to have to answer to are myself and my professors upon the beginning of school.  I am now truly free.  No more exceedingly high expectations for little to no recompense.  No more struggling through my days to hold onto that smile that I work so hard to create.  No more being the epitome of the falseness that I hate so very much. 

Today is a good day, friends.  A very good day indeed.

2 comments:

Danielle Kristine said...

Fucking awesome! Congratulations, mi amiga!

Anonymous said...

Good job lady!!! I'll miss you, but I know you'll stay in touch with me because I'm that awesome and you'll miss me too ;] - Stacy

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